I recently got a really bad sore throat that put me out of action for a couple of days, I tried to work through it for about a week and finally gave in two days ago and went to the doctor's. They said it was due to stress. STRESS! I felt like saying "No, you must be mistaken! Look at me! I'm covered in glitter! I'm wearing yellow! I have pages and pages of lists and notes keeping me busy and organi...oh." So it would seem I'm a bit of a workaholic. I always have been. I've never been able to just sit and have a coffee, I have to have a notepad in front of me. I always have to have something to plan towards and I've NEVER been able to have a bath (WHY AM I JUST LAYING HERE!?). But I realised that if I was actually getting ill I needed to change my lifestyle in some way.
The problem I have here is that I don't actually know how to do this. I've always found this sort of thing quite odd; for instance when people tell people to "cheer up" or "get over it" it's really strange because at no point are you told HOW to get over something. So it seem that although I know that I should relax I don't really know how to. I mean there are things that are stereotypically relaxing such as taking walks and baths and things but I don't really enjoy those as I find myself totally distracted thinking of all the things I have to do after my walk/bath. Don't get me wrong, this is most certainly not a cry for help. I am a really happy person with a wonderful life, I'm just a little anxious I'm cramming a little bit too much in but at the same time I'm reluctant to drop any of the exciting elements that I'm cramming into my life. It's a wonderful nightmare!
I need advice people! Is anyone else out there suffering from the same problem? Does anyone else find it strangely hard and even quite unenjoyable to relax? What do you do and what have you done?
I think relaxing is doing something you enjoy. So if you find what others do to relax unenjoyable, do something else, but do it for you. Not because you have to, but because you want to.
ReplyDeleteJust don't let pressure rule your life. Wait, there's no 'just' about that.
There luckily isn't one way to this/to life. So you'll just have to figure it out so just allow yourself the time to do that.
Thanks Jess. I agree, it's a lovely thing that there isn't a 'same size fits all' in some ways but in others it can be bloody annoying! I've started doing well with eliminating things I defiantly DON'T want to do. I recently put a blanket "NO!" over hiking because I realised I get nothing from it (much to the dismay of my outdoorsy Norwegian friends!) which was incredibly liberating! Now I just need to find something I do want to do.
DeleteI agree with Jessica ^^. You don't have to 'take a bath' or 'stop moving' to relax. When I need stress relief, I go for a walk or read! I've even found that coloring in a little kids coloring book is an easy way to take away some stress! I would recommend that! :D
ReplyDeleteLizzy
Oh my goodness I love this advice! I can feeling myself gelling with colouring! Thank you Lizzy!
DeleteDefinitively agree with the ladies above - whatever makes you feel good and content but not under pressure. Ideally there should be no deadline involved and no consequence of not completing a task. For me I take the dog for a long walk where it's just the two of us and we can have a natter (ok I do most of the talking, the dog's a better listener than she is conversationalist hehe). There's something about being outside, in the fresh air and just walking. I don't plan a route, I just walk for a bit and then make our way home. I go on autopilot so I don't have to think about anything if I don't want to, but also if I DO want to think something through that's bothering me then I find being in a wide open space gives me the brain space to think. Whatever it is you do, enjoy it and I hope you feel better soon. Stress is no fun but it can be beaten xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for this advice! Hopefully I can find some nice parks in our new area. I think the main problem is even if I'm doing something that has no deadlines I know there are always deadlines floating in the background. Hmm.
Deletei think even if my body's relaxed, my brain never switches off. trouble!
ReplyDeleteDo you know the management style 4 quadrant thing with areas ranging from important&urgent to unimportant and not urgent? (from the 7 habits of highly effective people by steven covey) http://professornerdster.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/time_management_matrix.jpeg I started listing my to do's a couple of days ago again in this way, in stead of topic wise. It helps me to focus on what is really important and less on things that aren't. I know this is still talking about doing things, but here is the thing. If I just decide which ones to tackle in a day (and make it realistic time wise) I feel less stressed about all the other things I don't do because I know they have less priority and they can be done tomorrow as well. It helps me to relax and not worry to much about my unfinished to-do's.
ReplyDeleteAlso, make sure to plan in some 'play time' each day. I am still struggling with this one but if I make time for it I notice it helps me relax. Indeed anything you do for enjoyment without clear function. Even blog updates can be draining, although in essence they can be fun, just because you feel like you 'have to' do them. If you don't feel like something, don't use it as a play time activity ;)
(I mean stephen covey)
DeleteHmm this really interests me! I love writing lists but the idea of ranking them is really brilliant. I may have to trial it for a week and see how it works for me.
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ReplyDeleteYou seem like someone who has a lot of energy to give, so I'd say one thing that always works when I'm building up too much pressure is to put some happy lively music and dance like a crazy person through a few songs until I'm literally panting. I usually feel MUCH better after that :)
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, if you have your cat around, you can play hide and seek (or rather I pretend to hide and the cat runs after me like she's chasing a mouse), it's strangely entertaining and it's REALLY tiring, those animals are fast!
I think any kind of short, INTENSE and crazy (it's an important part of the relaxation) activity would help you because they don't give you the possibility to think AT ALL while they help liberating tensions.
Take care Ally! Health and balance first :)
I really love this idea of having a mental few minutes! It sounds quite cleansing to just try and expel all possible energy. I think I may have to recruit my cat.
DeleteI think you hit the nail on the head when you said you don't enjoy stereotypically relaxing things - the issue is that everyone finds different things relaxing! Just like everyone else has said :). If you struggle with just stopping and relaxing then maybe try some exercise classes? It may not be chilled out in itself, but the endorphins released counteract the effects of stress. My advice? Just try a few different things at your leisure from exercise to going to museums to baking. Just make sure it's pressure free! Eventually, you'll find something that soothes you!
ReplyDeletePS Just found a your blog and you can consider me a new fan! It's ace.
This is such good advice. I think it is just finding the right thing. I used to be a ballet dancer so I have such a weird relationship with exercise! Every little thing has to be precise and perfectly positioned which is why I completely sucked at PE (hockey isn't very precise).
DeleteI think you've helped me think of a new series for the blog though. I'm going to try a new thing each week with the hopes it relaxes me! Thank you Joy!
Love this post SO much, Ally! i fear I am the same as you! Recently, I am trying to get into a routine of going to bed, reading a bit and then listening to a meditation podcast. This way I have a bit of a daily relax! Hope you find a way to chill your beans too! X
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I can comment on your blog! finally! You have no idea how many times I've tried commenting and then given up, thought about e-mailing you the comment and then decided it was pointless. I was just searching through your archives for this post because I think we are quite similar in this respect - I've literally just written a post on how I can't do "downtime" (which has resulted in my current predicament of being very ill) and I would love to know your thoughts if you had a chance to stop over and read it. xXXX
ReplyDeleteYoga might be helpful, since you're focussing on your breathing and the movements it's like active meditation. The only tricky part for me is lying still for five minutes afterwards (but you'll ache if you don't). There are loads of videos on Youtube :)
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