This may be my favourite photo ever. After browsing Pinterest and seeing the most beautifully arranged Christmas living rooms, I looked up and saw this. AND I THOUGHT BRILLIANT! You can't make Christmas in our house manicured and controlled because Christmas brings out some weird behaviour in us all.
You know those tree things?
Yeah.
You know the things that live outside?
Yeah.
Let's bring one inside for a couple of weeks.
Hmm..ok...we can't just do that though.
Oh I know. We'll cover it with electric lights and weird ornaments as well.
How weird do the ornaments have to be?
Well do you have any animals that never ever go in trees and aren't in any way connected to this season thematically or geographically or culturally?
I do have a crocodile.
Is that weird enough though?
It's wearing a top hat and a sparkly tail coat and pantaloons.
....yeah....but....
And four or those gangster shoes.
Ah cool. You had me worried there.
You know Jesus?
Mm.
He was born in a st-
Massive red bubble thing.
Oh really?
Yeah, well known fact. Sort of red hollowed out lacquered orb thing.
Ah phew, that could have been really embarrassing!
Yeah. And you know about his hair right?
Well... he's a newborn middle eastern baby so I'm guessing a bight blond Mohawk?
Correct.
And I just need to check the animals which were there...
A camel, two sheep, a tabby cat and a sausage dog.
Thought so.
So I got up two hours ago and I've had roughly 2.4 meals since then and done basically nothing since...so...
Probably have a sleep now, then.
Ok, I'll just take this hat off. And go up to bed. And change into something else.
No need, no need.
Why not?
Christmas.
Oh yeah.
What counts as a nutritious breakfast at Christmas time?
Well you need a fruit.
Clementine!
Perfect, classic Christmas. Then you need some sort of fibre or something.
There's an oatmeal and raisin cookie.
Wholesome. Now you need to be diverse here or your metabolism will probably explode or something.
Ok, I have a samosa.
Hmm that sounds quite light for breakfast...
It does have a lot of spiced meat in it.
Hmm well ok then. You need something else though...it's all looking a bit healthy.
There's a prawn crostini in the fridge from yesterday's party.
Yeah that'll do it.
What's a sensible use of a few hours of my time?
Probably make a Christmas outfit for Stitch.
Should I make it completely fully functioning with fasteners and hidden seams and so on?
Oh for sure!
Won't that be extremely time consuming?
Exceptionally.
But...do I not have something else I should be doing?
Nope.
Really?
Yup.
Why?
Christmas, remember?
Oh yeah. Christmas.
